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Sunday, March 5, 2017

Soulful Sundays: “Whatcha YOU Talking About Girl… You’re a Side Chick Too!?!”

"As-Salaam-Alaikum" ("Peace be unto you")

Soulful Sundays: “Whatcha YOU Talking About Girl… You’re a Side Chick Too!?!”

In my travels throughout my beautiful city and on social media, I have ran across plenty of entertaining… yes I said entertaining… arguments with women fussing about their so-called men. They were either fussing at the other woman, fussing at their man, or on Facebook/Youtube making silly videos threatening other women about their so-called men. Regardless, of the platform these women were just fussing; thus, the inspiration for the topic of the day: “Whatcha You Talking About Girl… You’re a Side Chick Too!?!”

See, throughout my years on this earth, there are 7 groups of women who can honestly lay claim to a single man… Yep… I said single even though he’s got you fooled thinking he is ‘Your Man!” Real Talk… See, there are ONLY 7 groups of women who can lay claims to a single man and that is his mother, grandmothers, aunties, sisters, daughters, granddaughters and his WIFE!!! Not his baby mammas… not his girlfriend whether you live together or not and definitely not his mistress or side chick! Now if you don’t fall into one of the above mentioned categories… than you really need to consider yourself a side chick and keep it moving!

SIde Chicks come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Just because you may have money and have a higher income status than your competition... Homegirl that doesn't matter because you are still a Side Chick with money! And for the ones who think they are the bomb in bed and no man can resist your sex... homegirl, you a Side Chick too, but one who thinks she is good in bed... but can't be that dang great cause he didn't marry you... so that makes you side chick too!

Now… I know some of you right now… got your panties all in a bunch and are ready to take my head off about this, but just hold on a minute… let me clarify somethings. I am talking to the ladies who are running all over their cities fighting and fussing about some man and how that man is hers. To clarify, I am talking to those ladies… but if you are feeling some kind of way after you read this blog post… than girl… I might just be talking to you… Hell who am I fooling… shucks… I am talking to your azz too!!

Click on Picture to Enlarge

I know some of you ladies feel that since you live with this man and birthed him… hecks I don’t know… 3 or 4 beautiful children… that makes him yours, but you are sadly mistaken. See, what makes him yours is that trip down to the courthouse and saying I Do… not that trip to the hospital to birth another child while he is saying I WILL…eventually marry you… but damn girl… WHEN?!? When will this glorious day occur and when will YOU realize that you are a side chick too?

Oh I know… after you birthed more and more beautiful babies and you are still not married. After you are all broke down from fighting every women you see talking to him. Or the one that has blatantly and disrespectfully… I may add… walked up on you and told YOU that your man is her man and she just had his baby… the nerves of some women!

Will it be after he has had… how many babies on you… so many that even you lost count, but you are still running around claiming this fool? Proudly emphasizing that he is your man to whomever will listen. Will it be after you have cried so many tears while listening to all of Mary J. Blige’s CDs too busy to realize that your friends are ignoring your calls because they have grown tired of listening to you whine about this man… but secretly they are really mad at you because they tried to hint to you between the many, many conversations of trying to lift you up, that you are a side chick too! But your womanly pride would not let you catch or entertain the subtle hints they were throwing your way!

See dear, these are the reason you are a side chick… please pay close attention because I don’t cast my pearls to swine… meaning, if I throw you some wisdom and you keep choosing to ignore it or don’t catch it… well, you will figure it out eventually and I have to keep pushing and praying for you girl So I am going to try to explain it to you as real as possible… So please listen up because I am only going to say this once… here we go…
1.  Like My Mother used to Say: “There’s No Such Thing as Free P****!” If you are living with a man and you are not married… you are a side chick! I don’t care how society tries to classify these new aged relationships. You can consider that man a free agent just like you are. Now, of course you have rules set in the place… you know like… let’s say… no cheating or no other women/man better be calling his or your phone… stuff like that, but realistically… he is single and so are you. If you are not married… you are single to do whatever the hecks you want to do unless you have a relationship contract.
For example, we have sport contracts, entertainment contracts or marriage contracts… see what I am going with this… you don’t have a contract so how can you realistically require this person to be faithful to you. At least when you are married you are entitled and can sue him for half, but girl what are you getting if he leaves you right now? Some kids, the dog and some bills… Girl Bye! So, if you are not married to the man you are living with and giving him that good ole sex… honey… you are just playing house and that makes you the what? SIDE CHICK!
2.  Fighting to Prove Your Love or Relationship is Real. If you find yourself in “Tha Streets” fighting over YOUR man or you got random women running up on you telling you about what they did with your man… than consider yourself the Side Chick too because you are out there fighting with the other side chick! See, your man doesn’t respect your worth as a woman or your relationship! If he did, the other side chick wouldn’t be running up on you like that! He would have all that mess in check!
Everyone knows… except for you apparently… that any self-respecting man would value your worth as a woman, your relationship; thus, not leaving any room for any random chick to disrespectfully run up on you to cause any problems within your relationship because he wouldn’t be doing anything to bring that type of drama into your lives!

3. You Allowed It and You Played Yourself. This one ties into #2… See, once you found out about that other woman and you stayed… honey you became a Side Chick with benefits because you should have left him. Now, I know you have kids, he promised to never do it again or even pulled those tears out on you and stayed still for a while, but once that itch came… girlfriend you honestly believe that dog of yours did not find a bedpost to scratch it on?!? You can’t be that gullible or maybe you are, but anyways… you not only are the side chick but now you have opened Pandora’s Box and girlfriend that dog is going to be off the chain for real now!!!
Now, I know some of you are going to say… he just made a mistake and everyone deserves a second chance. Okay… but if he was your husband, I could see you working it out… but this is your roommate with benefits… remember?!? So let’s rewind… he hasn’t put a ring on it… in other words… you are not worthy of marriage, but good enough to live with, have sex with and keep popping out kids and NOW you have to deal with his cheating ways… SIDE CHICK Please… You better turn off Mary J. Blige sad azz and turn on some Lauryn Hill “Ex-Factor” or better yet, Erykah Badu’s “Tyrone” and get to stepping! But I know you are hard headed and you are going to need to have this conversation again, but I am just going to refer you to this blog… Just Saying and Good Luck!
4.  He doesn’t bring You Home to Meet the Family. If you have found that you have been with this man for a long period of time and you still have not met the family… Girl, you are a side chick and please stop fooling yourself. I don’t care if they live out of town… if he can get to the club than he can get two plane, train or bus tickets to take you to meet his family! See if you were his wife, he would have gladly let you meet them... hecks you would have met them at the wedding... Just saying!
So if you or someone you know falls into any or a combination of these four categories than you can freely classify yourself or them as the Side Chick. As women, we are worthy of so much more and should be treated as such. Stop playing yourselves and know your worth because if you don’t learn who you are as a woman and set boundaries, you will find yourself being the Side Chick in your relationships and not the Wifey! Just Saying!

Please leave your comments below. 

Stay Blessed Queens!


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