Soulful Sundays: “Whatcha YOU Talking About Girl… You’re a Side Chick Too!?!”
SIde Chicks come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Just because you may have money and have a higher income status than your competition... Homegirl that doesn't matter because you are still a Side Chick with money! And for the ones who think they are the bomb in bed and no man can resist your sex... homegirl, you a Side Chick too, but one who thinks she is good in bed... but can't be that dang great cause he didn't marry you... so that makes you side chick too!
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I know some of you ladies feel that since you live with this man and birthed him… hecks I don’t know… 3 or 4 beautiful children… that makes him yours, but you are sadly mistaken. See, what makes him yours is that trip down to the courthouse and saying I Do… not that trip to the hospital to birth another child while he is saying I WILL…eventually marry you… but damn girl… WHEN?!? When will this glorious day occur and when will YOU realize that you are a side chick too?
1. Like My Mother used to Say: “There’s No Such Thing as Free P****!” If you are living with a man and you are not married… you are a side chick! I don’t care how society tries to classify these new aged relationships. You can consider that man a free agent just like you are. Now, of course you have rules set in the place… you know like… let’s say… no cheating or no other women/man better be calling his or your phone… stuff like that, but realistically… he is single and so are you. If you are not married… you are single to do whatever the hecks you want to do unless you have a relationship contract.
For example, we have sport contracts, entertainment contracts or marriage contracts… see what I am going with this… you don’t have a contract so how can you realistically require this person to be faithful to you. At least when you are married you are entitled and can sue him for half, but girl what are you getting if he leaves you right now? Some kids, the dog and some bills… Girl Bye! So, if you are not married to the man you are living with and giving him that good ole sex… honey… you are just playing house and that makes you the what? SIDE CHICK!
2. Fighting to Prove Your Love or Relationship is Real. If you find yourself in “Tha Streets” fighting over YOUR man or you got random women running up on you telling you about what they did with your man… than consider yourself the Side Chick too because you are out there fighting with the other side chick! See, your man doesn’t respect your worth as a woman or your relationship! If he did, the other side chick wouldn’t be running up on you like that! He would have all that mess in check!
Everyone knows… except for you apparently… that any self-respecting man would value your worth as a woman, your relationship; thus, not leaving any room for any random chick to disrespectfully run up on you to cause any problems within your relationship because he wouldn’t be doing anything to bring that type of drama into your lives!
3. You Allowed It and You Played Yourself. This one ties into #2… See, once you found out about that other woman and you stayed… honey you became a Side Chick with benefits because you should have left him. Now, I know you have kids, he promised to never do it again or even pulled those tears out on you and stayed still for a while, but once that itch came… girlfriend you honestly believe that dog of yours did not find a bedpost to scratch it on?!? You can’t be that gullible or maybe you are, but anyways… you not only are the side chick but now you have opened Pandora’s Box and girlfriend that dog is going to be off the chain for real now!!!
Now, I know some of you are going to say… he just made a mistake and everyone deserves a second chance. Okay… but if he was your husband, I could see you working it out… but this is your roommate with benefits… remember?!? So let’s rewind… he hasn’t put a ring on it… in other words… you are not worthy of marriage, but good enough to live with, have sex with and keep popping out kids and NOW you have to deal with his cheating ways… SIDE CHICK Please… You better turn off Mary J. Blige sad azz and turn on some Lauryn Hill “Ex-Factor” or better yet, Erykah Badu’s “Tyrone” and get to stepping! But I know you are hard headed and you are going to need to have this conversation again, but I am just going to refer you to this blog… Just Saying and Good Luck!
4. He doesn’t bring You Home to Meet the Family. If you have found that you have been with this man for a long period of time and you still have not met the family… Girl, you are a side chick and please stop fooling yourself. I don’t care if they live out of town… if he can get to the club than he can get two plane, train or bus tickets to take you to meet his family! See if you were his wife, he would have gladly let you meet them... hecks you would have met them at the wedding... Just saying!
Stay Blessed Queens!