Recent Posts

Friday, April 14, 2017

50 Shades of Gay: Why Doesn’t That Boy Take Those Tight Jeans Off… Before Somebody Gets a Yeast Infection?!?

"As-Salaam-Alaikum," "Peace be unto you"

50 Shades of Gay: Why Doesn’t That Boy Take Those Tight Jeans Off… Before Somebody Gets a Yeast Infection?!?

Well, as you all know… I do have a son who is gay… who I love dearly and as usual… I am in my room… minding my own business and guess who… yep… it’s him again… up to no good as usual! NOW… before we even get started… I don’t say this because he is gay… I say this because I know my teenage son and like most teenagers around his age… Yep they and he are usually… UP TO NO GOOD!!! Just Saying!

So, as he… once again… sashayed into my room saying Mommy in that irritating voice… you know that fake one or the one that someone uses… usually when they want something and you can tell by their tone… the way they are saying your name… and behaving all nice and things… that they want something… yep… that one… well in this case… saying Mommmmieeee… all long and just dragging it out…

Girl… dragging it… so with that… guards up… and me once again looking at him with the grandmother’s peer with the added side eye while I am taking a deep breath and letting out a hard sigh... shaking my head because I know somebody is bored and has nothing better to do than to bother me in my moment of peace… and this isn’t going to be good… or end well!

Ladies, have you ever noticed that it seems that your kids wait until you’re having a moment of peace and quiet… some serenity… by yourself to come in and try to really work your nerves… anyways…

I said, “What’s up baby boy?” Still knowing there is something behind this little friendly visit.

He said, “You like my jeans?”

I said, “Why are you in here bothering me?” “You know I don’t like those tight things being on you!” “Now go on out of here and find you someone else to mess with or better yet… something to do… like… why don’t you try washing those dishes down there!”


Surprisingly… he turned around… while swinging his imaginary, long, flowing hair… and went down the steps to see who else he could annoy… hold on... wait for it... yep… from the sound of the uproar… I guess it’s one of the twin's turn now…

Now, I know what you are thinking… why is she going off… he just asked her a simple question. First of all... if you don't shut this one down real quick like... in about 2 to 3 more minutes... 

I would have found myself in a drawn out argument with my blood pressure up and he would have gone on about his business... nope... I wasn't going to allow him to bait me and there's a little history behind this… so… Let’s begin…

Years ago, when my son… I think… was between the ages of 13 to 15, he went over to one of his friend’s house and he had the nerves to bring home those emasculating pants… you know the ones… um… what do they call them… oh yeah… those awful skinny jeans! 

I can remember my horror to find out that grown men… rap artist… street thugs… were wearing these tight azz pants… let alone my son!

When he came home with those pants, I specifically told him that I didn’t want him wearing those styles of jeans because his butt was too dang big and he’s shaped like a big booty, short football player… I mean… even as a baby… he had a big butt to go along with that big Stewie shaped head… 

Ladies... his butt was so dag on big... that as a newborn baby who weighed around 6 lbs., I had to buy him bigger diapers because his butt was too dang big to fit in the newborn diapers… the boy has a big butt… for real… the kind that women pay thousands of dollars to have… that type of butt!

So, one day we were all sitting around just shooting the breeze and here he comes down the steps to show me his outfit that he will be wearing to school the next day… I was like… why the hecks are your pants that tight? 

In my mind, he was playing a prank on me… after awhile, I told him to stop playing with me and he had better go and take his sister’s pants off before he busts them out at the seams and then we must hear her mouth!

Click Image to Enlarge
Well… imagine my reaction when I found out that the joke was on me and they weren’t his sister’s jeans… they were his… Girl... I had to clutch my pearls... 

Now... that I am reminiscing... I guess I should have realized that because they obviously were too small for her to fit her legs into… and I was really hoping this was just a phase he was going through and it would pass… I guess I can blame it on… wishful thinking!

We went around and round about those damn skinny jeans and he was hell bent on keeping them… and I was hell bent on him giving them skinny jeans back to whoever he got them from! This went on for months… I mean months… hecks… it may have been years… but all I know… it went on for a long dang time… He would come in with a pair and I would go out the house and throw them in the trash… but somehow, they would magically appear back in my house and be in another color!

I mean… have you ever thought you threw something away and then it magically appears again… and then you blame it on déjà vu… not because you’re getting older… but on that vindictive, lonely wench… Déjà Vu… who doesn’t have anything better to do, but to sit around messing with you… You know that wench… well at that time I KNEW it wasn't her messing with me!

So, one day I had enough with him and those dang skinny jeans… I waited to his hard-headed tail went outside… and I gathered all those skinny jeans up… grabbed my hair shears… you know the sharp kind that they use at the salons to cut hair… I cut the grey pair… than the green and that awful rust color one… I gathered all those cut-up pieces of skinny jeans and put them in a bag… got into my van… and dumped pieces of skinny jeans in different dumpsters around town and came home!

Now, I know some are saying… “WOW! All of that over some damn skinny jeans?” Yep… I did all that over some skinny jeans because sometimes you must do some drastic sh** to get your point across to your hard-headed, stubborn azz kids! You must understand… hecks… it is five against one and sometimes mommy goes off… hecks… I am still fighting with my eldest son about him sagging and me seeing his underwear… and the meaning behind that foolishness…



You know… as I sit here laughing about different times in my life with dealing with the FAB Five… I can clearly see and understand why others have constantly expressed that my kids and I need our own reality show because as a unit… we’re too funny and crazy… okay… you can stop judging me now…

Anyways…

To make a long story short… after all that fussing and cussing… and years of fussing and cussing… he is still… wearing… WHAT… those damn skinny jeans with an added half shirt... picture this...you know how those football players look before they put on their jerseys... in their white shoulder pads... well imagine the shoulder pads is a tight half shirt wrapped around all of those muscles and chest... 

Now... instead of the those tight thingys they wear... imagine they are skinny jeans... A MESS... A HOT DAMN MESS... and this is what I have to look at on a daily basis... a short, burly hot mess and it comes with an oversized attitude!!! Just a MESS and stop laughing at my pain!!! 

Now for the reasoning behind today's post... I wrote this post because I saw something on social media or television… I really don’t remember… the other day and it reminded me of my plight with my son… and his choice to be gay. As I sit back and think about that period in my life, I realized that my irritation stemmed from my hurt from a wound that he constantly picks at… and like I stated earlier… kids know how to push your buttons… just like parents know how to push their buttons… I call it the circle of life… But as a mother, I am still conflicted with his choice of being gay.

See, when I found out that I was having a boy, I was elated that I was going to be raising a son into a man… but somehow… that dream was lost.

The best way I can explain it is… oh I got it… I can use my favorite episode of the Cosby Show for this one… Remember that episode when Denise and Alvin decided that she wasn’t going to attend law school and he wasn’t going to attend medical school… remember how Cliff and Claire went off… okay… well here is a little clip to help jog your memory…



Well, that’s a little bit of how I felt... Claire's response... and with his constant picking at old wounds… it makes me relive those emotions that I have struggled so hard to work through and that has prolonged my journey of acceptance. However, as time goes on… I’m learning to accept it more and more… but I don’t have to agree with it… and that’s okay because at the end of the day… He’s my son... it’s his life... and these are my feelings that I have the right to have.

In my opinion, as members of society and with our passions for our causes… we oftentimes step on or forget the rights of others in an effort to push our own agendas or ideologies on somebody. 

Meaning, some members of society are constantly trying to force someone to accept something on society’s terms and disregards that person’s feelings and/or beliefs. In my case, I often felt as if he as well as society were bullying me into accepting or feeling a way that I wasn’t ready or willing to feel at that time… I truly felt as if I was being bullied!! Sometimes... and more often than not... others are always trying to challenge or push things or ideas unto someone else without them being willing to see the other side of things.

In my situation, I often felt that my son was challenging me through those dang skinny jeans because he wanted what he wanted, but he was unwilling to see the other side of things or my point of view... See those skinny jeans represented a part of me that died with the realization of him choosing to live an alternative lifestyle. 

I felt... and to keep it real... still feel... that with all of his feminine changes that he has made... from the way he speaks... dresses... that annoying girly tone of his voice... he is trying to erase who he truly is... his true essence... he's trying to erase... ME... his mother... and that is something that is hard for me to accept.

So in retrospect... it truly wasn't about the skinny jeans... or I didn't understand... or even about him growing up and wanting his independence... it really was about our bond as mother and child... one of the most purest bonds a woman can have on this earth... at least in my opinion!

I say all of that to say this... 

Sometimes it's not always about the skinny jeans... or whatever your personal situation is with your children... it can be deeper than that... and that's something that society oftentimes misses out on when it comes to the traditional ways of life. Everybody doesn't change at the same pace because a movement calls for it... hecks... some people aren't comfortable with it or don't want to change... and that should be okay as long as they aren't hurting anyone else! 

Now back to the skinny jeans... 

As mothers, we have the right to tell our underage children… as well as the grown ones… what is acceptable clothing to wear around you and in your house. 

Just like society tells our kids to wear professional gear when going on a job interview and they even have workplaces that have attire guidelines in place... and skinny jeans or any other Hip Hop attire considered unacceptable by employers and their rules will be enforced... so... borrowing a page out of society's ane employers' rulebook... that means, in our homes... Ladies... we can have home attire guidelines... and as the mothers and members of society... we have the right to enforce them...Just Saying!!!

Well, with all that being said… although, they skinny jeans represented something more deep than an emasculating fashion statement... which I will be talking about in the near future... so keep your eyes out... I do understand that the youth of today express themselves through many avenues… and we did too... so… I guess there are somethings we aren’t supposed to get or understand about our children as their moms... However... 

I don't care what society and them says... and I wholeheartedly stand by this with every fiber in my being... If that boy doesn’t take those tight jeans off… somebody’s going to end up with a yeast infection… Just Saying!!!

Stay Blessed Queens!

May ALLAH Continue to Bless Me as I Continue Down My Path of Acceptance


~ejnosillA

~ Don’t Forget to Subscribe ~


~ COMMENT ~ LIKE ~ SHARE ~

*********************************************************************************
Want to be featured on RedefiningHERstory: One Blog Post at a Time?
We are a PR-Friendly blog and we also accept guest and sponsored posts!


For submission details please visit our disclosures page here!
Let’s work together... Just Saying!!!
*********************************************************************************

References
Cosby Show YouTube Clip - Retrieved from: https://youtu.be/QTnTWyvr5v4
Onix Jam Background Created by Vlad_HD_Gamer - Retrieved from: http://wallpaperweb.org/wallpaper/computer/onix-jam_61537.htm
Picture Image - Retrieved from: http://broscience.co/bodybuilders-skinny-jeans/




5 comments :

  1. Did you choose to be straight? Would you ever consider being gay? If not, how is that your son "chose" to be gay?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Greetings ArsVita... yes... I did make the choice to be straight... I like men and that is my preference... no I have not ever considered being a lesbian... and for your last question... I will answer it in a future post... stay tune... and be looking out for the next... 50 Shades of Gay... Stay blessed... ~ejnosillA

      Delete
  2. Beautiful post!! I wanted to laugh and cry all the same time lol. I don't have children so I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling. However, I can tell that you are an amazing mother who truly loves her son! I can tell from the way you speak about him that you two still have a strong bond. He may not have grown into who or what you wanted him to be but I wouldn't be surprised if he makes you damn proud of who he does become! I wish you and your family lots of love and no yeast infections!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your dream to raise a son to a man is not shattered. He is growing up knowing who he is and standing up for himself. You are a great mother to raise such a young man and to love him unconditionally.

    ReplyDelete
  4. http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/sexual-orientation#1

    ReplyDelete

To Leave a Comment

***************************NOTE*************************************

If you would like to leave a comment with your name in which ejnosillA can respond to you personally, please select Name/URL option from the "COMMENT" drop down box.

With this selection you have the option to leave your name and than select publish.

~ejnosillA