First I thought to myself… okay… I must have thought out loud because that is how I found out everyone’s ages… how old are you and you have other things to think about besides a boy… You’re in college and trying to make your grades… you really don’t need the added distractions or drama that boys your ages bring about. So I basically asked them… “do you watch Love and Hippty Hop reality television franchise?”
So I told them that I would write a blog just for them… so to Baby Girl Brewer, her crew and for all the women who are wondering… How do I keep a man... it's not really about him... it's about you and your wants... so, I want to start with the topics that are going to be highlighted in this blog post to get you thinking about self and not him or her... but you... so this one’s for you! Let’s begin…
Hold on... hold on... before we begin... now you must realize I don't have a crystal ball... I don't have mind reading skills and I don't know the details of your relationship and why it ended, but here are some basic reasons why your relationship might not have worked out the way you wanted it to... okay... now... Let's begin...
Know Your Worth
They usually lead off with their products/services' features and as the commercial progresses than they tell or show us the benefits of their products/services… Right?
So in relationships… what are your features and benefits? Once again… what makes you unique from the other countless women? Ask yourself… If you don’t know or value who you are, than how is he? What sets you a part from all the other women that are vying for this man’s attention?
We as women often find ourselves vying for a man’s affection and adjusting our behaviors to what we think he may like to keep him or to outdo the other woman… but what about your needs and do you know how exhausting that will become... pretending to be one way all the time? What's going to happen when the real you starts shining through?!?
Do you realize that women like that are a dime a dozen, but a flawless diamond is rare… You don’t need to devalue yourself like a Mimi or Joseline to get that man… know your worth ladies! Just Saying! This leads me to my next point…
Listen to What He’s Saying
|Dr. Maya Angelou|
This all could have been avoided if she would have listened to what he was saying and understood his true, vocalized intentions towards you and accepting that. Remember the words of the iconic Dr. Maya Angelou... that I mentioned before in a previous blog post...
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time"... and I am adding... tells you whether it be once or over and over again... Believe Him too!!!
Don’t Expect More Than They Are Willing To Give
Learn to Graciously Walk Away & Stop Comparing/Competing with Other Women
When I am privy to these types of situations, I often find myself being amazed that they have somehow made themselves the victim when he has told them and showed them through his actions or disregard towards her feelings... what he wanted.
However, she chose not to listen or pay attention… so now the other woman becomes the object of her misplaced aggressions, bitterness and pain!
I find myself thinking… and then out loud saying… instead of taking out your misfortunes on her or competing with her, why not chose to graciously walk away and take this unfortunate episode of your life and use it as a learning resource so you don’t make the same mistake twice?!?
There is nothing classier than a woman, walking away when a man has tried to devalue her self-worth.
Walking away gracefully shows all that are involved that you have a higher level of self-worth and respect for yourself and/or your boundaries. I think I've said this before earlier... but it warrants repeating... if you don’t respect you… than he dang for sure isn’t!!
Don’t Get Petty and Vent on Social Media
I was not objective enough at that time to give out sound advice because I was going through my own hurt and pain! When seeking advice from another bitter woman… you must remember that they too can’t see the sun because of the clouds… so how can they clearly give you advice when they are too experiences the same pain?!?
I meant well and so do they, but when one’s head is clouded or until they are healed and in a better space… consider that advice to be tainted… Just Saying and let’s continue…
So please and I am begging you to don’t take to social media to air out your relationship problems or grievances.
All that does is make you look desperate and bitter. Stop taking your private beef to a public forum for all to judge and probably tear your azz up because you are looking like Meek Mills or the “Loser” in this situation… you see how they tore his butt up on social media over Safaree’s other Nicki…
If you decide to take it to social media, than be prepared for the backlash!!! Think about it… why start something you aren’t mentally ready to finish… we know all it would take is for her or him… hecks if you keep antagonizing him… it can easily turn into a them… to post a picture of them cuddling up with a caption stating: chillin with my boo after a romantic evening… of doing whatever?!? Take my advice Ladies… Don’t start nothing that your heart can’t handle…
But if she would stop trying to convince all how she is the baddest chick in the game by comparing and competing with other women, she would have recognized that she was better than the image that she was putting out there!
Final Thoughts from ejnosillA
Maya Angelou Picture: Retrieved from: https://www.amazon.com/Maya-Angelou/e/B000AQ8Q00
Maya Angelou Quote: Retrieved from: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mayaangelo383371.html
Never Chase Love Picture: Retrieved from: http://combiboilersleeds.com/keywords/self-worth-1.html
Picture Colorful Background: Retrieved from: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/300263500132000239/
Self-Worth Image- http://combiboilersleeds.com/keywords/self-worth-1.html
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