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Wednesday, May 17, 2017

50 Shades of Gay: My Beloved Son, Change Your Ways… Homosexuality is a Sin… So is Fornication, My Beloved Daughter!

"As-Salaam-Alaikum," "Peace be unto you"
50 Shades of Gay:
My Beloved Son, Change Your Ways… Homosexuality is a Sin… So is Fornication, My Beloved Daughter!

As I sit here reflecting on my life… I oftentimes do that after reading my Quran… I often ponder about the spiritual fate of my children… who I affectionately call the FAB Five… I can vividly remember a time that my life was in turmoil because of one of sons' life changing decisions.

The events surrounding this emotional... mental... physical and spiritual turmoil began my path to accepting his stance... all of the different scenarios, allowed me to open my mind... my heart... and above all... made me take my judgemental spotlight off of him... and turn it around and shine it upon myself. Let's begin... 

I can remember… like it was yesterday… after my spiritual conversion to Islam… about 8 months ago… I really became worried about my children’s spiritual well being. I began to worry about their eternal lives and whether they were heaven bound or headed to the hellfire… and what about… what about my baby boy… he is definitely doomed… I began to think. “He’s going to hell… I know he is… if he doesn’t stop his homosexual behaviors and start living a heterosexual life!”

See… in Islam... as well as most of the top religions… Judaism, Christianity and Catholicism… homosexuality is considered a serious sin... and I just knew in my heart that my baby was going to hell! So... one day... I called him into my room and asked him… 

I asked him, “Do you believe in GOD?”

He said, “Yes ma’am I believe in GOD… okay... Momma… what’s this about?”

I asked him, “Do you think you would every embrace Islam or any other religion?”

He said, “Yes… one day I will be Muslim, but… I can’t right now because of my lifestyle… and you know that I can’t be Muslim unless I change my lifestyle and right now… I don’t have any intentions of changing that!”

After that… he went out of my room… down the stairs… and out of the door. I remembered thinking… 

"I know he is just saying that to make me happy or to shut me up... but what if something happens to him and he doesn’t have any spiritual protection on him… I know my baby is going to hell!"

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As the night progressed on… I remembered getting myself all worked up! I couldn’t sleep… I couldn’t eat… I just wanted my baby to be normal and stop living this alternative lifestyle so he doesn’t end up in hell! 

Didn’t he realize that he is on a one-way ticket to hell! Didn’t he realize that ALLAH views homosexuality as a serious sin… oh what can I do… how can I stop my baby boy from going to hell?!?

One day, I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore… well… really… I let my imagination get the best of me and… I had to get some spiritual protection on my son… 

So, I stayed up for days… taking breaks to nap here and there… or short breaks to eat… watching Islamic videos on YouTube… researching homosexuality on Islamic sites… talking to friends, family members and close co-workers as well as other Muslims about my spiritual concerns about my child and his alternative lifestyle.


Each source... with their own point of view… quoting The Holy Bible or The Holy Quran... but nothing that would ease my anxieties about my son’s impending fate.

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As time went on… I began to talk to my son my frequently about his lifestyle choice... I mean every chance I got… 

I talked about how the Bible and the Quran have sternly stated that homosexuality is a sin… not a little one… but a SERIOUS sin… 

Why didn't he understand that his life was in mortal danger if he doesn’t change his ways... I really needed him to know that if he doesn’t change his ways… his heart… his intentions… that we would be forever separated and would never be rejoined in paradise!?!

For days… I continued to feverishly search for some type of spiritual covering for my son... some type of peace for myself… it became my life’s mission to save my son from forever being consumed by the hellfire... 

As I sat watching and closely reviewing YouTube videos that I have saved to watch at a later time… I can remember that I was truly exhausted… emotionally… mentally and physically exhausted… but determined to save my son’s life… his soul… I received one of the most important phone calls of my life


“Hello,” I said.

“Hey Baby Girl… Whatcha doing?”

“Nothing… just looking at some YouTube videos,” I said depleted of all energy.

“Oh yeah,” the voice on the other end of the phone said. “What type of YouTube videos?”

I began to explain to the voice on the phone what I was doing and my reason for doing it. I explained that if my son doesn’t stop his homosexual behaviors that he is dooming himself to hell and we will never be rejoined in paradise.

There was a long silence… then a sigh… and then the voice began to speak…

He said, “Baby girl… let me talk to you for a minute…" softly sighed… "I want to ask you a few questions… and before you answer, I really need you to listen to me and to think.”

“Okay,” I softly said.


He said, “The first thing I want to know is… who told you that the boy was going to hell because he is gay?” “Secondly, who told you that you are going to heaven… and lastly, what makes your sins less sinful than his sins?” 

That voice on the other end of the phone was my daddy who has been a Muslim for 25 years... My Dad has a way of making me think... to self-reflect on my own life... he doesn't judge... but frames his words... in a way to allow me to see error of my ways. 

As I sat their thinking about the three questions that were asked of me while listening to this wise man on the other end of the line… 

He made me realize that while I was so busy worrying about my son’s sins… I should be paying more attention to my own sins.

See... while I was "being busy"... like the old folks say... and sitting in judgement of my son’s sins for being homosexual... researching and carrying on to find out ways I could save him... I should have been feverishly researching ways to ask ALLAH for forgiveness for my own sins... Just Saying! 

In Islam, not only was I guilty of fornication… which carries the same sinful weight in ALLAH’s eyes as homosexuality… but due to my pursuit… I had neglected my prayers which is viewed as a MAJOR sin in Islam… and I should be more worried about that than worrying about my son’s sexual preference!
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My father reminded me through those three simple questions... thought provoking questions... that… YES… any sexual act that is committed between two individuals who are not married is considered a sin… one sin doesn’t outweigh the other sin… his sin was no greater than my sin… and there was no difference between the two sins… but… missing my prayers with no real excuse or delaying them because of whatever selfish reason is a higher sin than homosexuality.


After we talked for a little bit... we sent our love to each other and said our Islamic goodbyes... and hung up… 

I sat quietly to myself and reflected on how I allowed myself to get so consumed with trying to change my son’s sinful ways… that I have neglected to take the time to reflect on my own life and change mines… more importantly… say my daily prayers on time!

ejnosillA's Final Thoughts

In closing... at the end of the day... we all are guilty of some type of sin... whether we realize it or not... we all are imperfect... we all make mistakes... with all of this in mind... we all want grace and mercy... forgiveness... and acceptance for who we are or who we are trying to be... so we as people need to stop judging and start accepting... by being more understanding and loving.

I say all of this to say that in life... it is easier to sit in judgement of others than it is to sit in judgement of self. This situation made me reflect on my behaviors in my life and I had to ask myself… What minor sins do I partake in on a daily basis… or even worse… what major ones? Who am I too judge him because it's his life and I love my son no matter what he does or doesn't do… when I still have sins and continue to sin? 

I had to take a hard, long look at myself and I really thought about this important sentiment...

If I died today... would I be the one truly going heaven or paradise... or would I be the one forever doomed to live out eternity consumed by hellfire... Therefore... as I was trying to tell My Beloved Son that he needs to change his ways because homesexuality is a sin... my father had to remind me... so is fornication... My Beloved Daughter... Just Saying?!? As usual…

Stay Blessed Queens!





~ejnosillA
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29 comments :

  1. Every religion has its own definitions of what is a sin or not. We are each entitled to our own beliefs.

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  2. I think you are brave for sharing your story and faith belief. This is not easy to do in today's society, especially on a blog. Some people are very quick to judge other's religious beliefs before taking the time to understand them and realize we, too, want to love everyone and we do not want to judge others. When you are Christian, Jewish, or Muslim it is really hard to face worldly beliefs that are considered sins in your faith. I am Christian and I often struggle with the desires of this world and how that aligns with my Christian faith. This is why I started wearing a headcovering last year - to help me focus more on my faith and grow a closer relationship to God. I think that your father gave you good advice to focus on your sins and your faith. I know this is very difficult for you, though. Again, I am not Muslim, but as a Christian I would say to you to continue praying for God's guidance and also continue to seek a closer relationship with God. I hope you will find peace and I wish you all the best. God bless you.

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    1. Oh wow... thank you so much for the support and encouragement! I am really getting a lot of heat from other bloggers in my other FB groups who... surprisingly... didn't read my post and only read the title and basically said it was offensive... don't know how I offended others while telling my truth about my journey to acceptance but it is what it is... thank you so much

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  3. These are powerful words: "who told you that the boy was going to hell because he is gay?” “Secondly, who told you that you are going to heaven… and lastly, what makes your sins less sinful than his sins?” Your father sounds like a really smart and kind person. Loved reading this.

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    1. Thank you... he's the best and it really made me look at myself and stop looking at others

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  4. I have taught my kids to respect and love everyone no matter what their life choices they are. I rest easy knowing they are going to grow up to be awesome, tolerant people.

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  5. Such a great lesson in acceptance and perspective. Thanks for sharing this. I'm sure it wasn't easy to open up about these thoughts.

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    1. It really wasn't Morgan and I thank you. It is sometimes hard to talk about such a hot button topic, but the doors of communication must be opened and understanding must be met by all sides... thanks again

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  6. What an interesting read! I love how you're looking at the situation from a totally new perspective. Thanks for sharing such a personal story!

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    1. Thank you Kayla... I am glad that my dad gave me a different and new perspective on the situation and we are all good

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  7. I am not one for religion, I believe there is more out there but thats the extent of it, should my children choose religion i will support them 100% no matter what manner of faith they pursue. I will honestly say I was not 100% sure where you were going to go with this, it was evident your love for you son ran deep. But it was nice to see all of your thoughts through this whole process, and the conclusions you came to. It goes to proove we are never to old to listen to our parents. We sometimes forget they have been there.
    All the best moving forward!

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    1. Well Trinity... religion isn't for everyone... but acceptance of others choices, understanding and not judging others should be... thanks for your comments and stay blessed

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  8. This is an interesting post. Thanks for your thoughts on the topic :)

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  9. Refocusing on one's own actions does tend to put things in perspective. It's great that your dad was able share his point of view on the situation.

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  10. It is important to remember that each of us has free will, and even if it hurts us, we can not force our children to lead the life we choose for them. We can only set an example, and hope they follow.

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    1. So true... so true Juliana... and that was part of the lesson... we must allow our children to be who they want to be and try to guide them in a non-judgemental way

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  11. How lucky you are to have a father in your life who can challenge you to look differently at your faith.

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    1. I do love him and he is very wise... understanding and loving!

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  12. I've never understood accepting someone else's sexuality. I cannot imagine having to tell my parents something different about me from the norm and having them think the way I was born made me a sinner. Heartbreaking. Just love- love is love and we cannot change that.

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    1. Well Michelle... I find it unfortunate that you misunderstood the post... and you didn't allow yourself to really open your mind to embrace the true message of the post... stay blessed

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  13. Your Father is a very wise man. No matter your background you should live by example and acceptance. You are both walking a separate journey.

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  14. You are a brave woman.. I believe in spirituality but I have strong faith that hell n heaven are least concerned with homosexuality..I believe that hell n heaven are to do with good deeds in this human life.. Love, forgive, be good from heart to all, be positive , help needy, do good to all & that's it. This is what every religion wants us to do!

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  15. I'm glad you realized the error of your ways. Only God can judge

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  16. As a Christian, I believe there is a balance. Yes, we must concentrate on our own lives. I have sin and I also receive God's grace and forgiveness. I should model that grace, love, and forgiveness to others. Yes, I believe being gay is a sin I also believe adultery, lying, drunkenness, and lots of other things are sin. Just like loving parents reprimand their kids for lying, stealing, etc (and I think they should) then why are other offenses like homosexuality considered ok to ignore completely (if your family believes homosexuality is a sin)? I am sure your child knows your stance. Keep praying for him, that is a sign of a loving parent.

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  17. What an Interesting post glad you share this with us and such a good topic

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