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Monday, May 8, 2017

Ladies… Don’t be Ashamed of Your Truths… They’re A Part of You

"As-Salaam-Alaikum," "Peace be unto you"

Motivational Mondays:

Ladies… Don’t be Ashamed of Your Truths… They’re A Part of You

As women, we are taught to be ashamed of a lot of things… ashamed of our weight… or our independence or our sexuality… in my case… having five children out of wedlock. Regardless of your personal situation… with age comes life experiences and with life experiences comes wisdom… you see where I am going with this… and with wisdom comes the acceptance of our truths.

Through your truths… or your life experiences… the ups and downs… the highs and lows… or however YOU want… or need… to classify them… these experiences are what makes you the beautiful woman that you are.

Regardless, of how others may view them as being embarrassing or shameful life mistakes… and yes… some maybe embarrassing… or shameful… hecks… may even be a combination of them both… but the point I am making is that there was obviously a lesson that needed to be learned and that lesson should be passed on to other women… so we don’t make the same mistakes… Just Saying!

Check this out… have you ever been on job were you or some other woman is new to the job and the other women who should rally behind her and give her support won’t help her out? 

Meaning… they know what she needs to be successful at her job, but are holding onto vital information… or giving her the information little by little… piece by piece… because they are in fear of being replaced by her… instead of passing this knowledge on to make her work-life a little bit easier… you know… that nonsense kills me!

Well… basically… that is what I am trying to convey… with passing on your life experiences to other women… this allows them to navigate through their lives a little bit easier… it allows them to realize that they are not alone… that yes… this storm seems never-ending and emotionally draining… but one day brighter days will shine through! Let’s begin…

Telling Your Truths is Inspiring

Telling your truths or stories is an inspiring process… for you as well as for other women. It can be an uplifting process and healthy for you. It allows you the opportunity to heal and pass on your experiences… or wisdom to other women.

Your truths will help other women to make sense of the world… their life experiences, problems and hard times. It will make them feel less alone and be more confident in the decisions that they need to make within their own lives… about their own situations.

It also gives them hope… gives them the strength… the courage or the insight needed to keep going… if you share your truths of how you got through these trying times… well perhaps… then they will feel inspired that they can too.

Say for instance, a woman in your Sista Circle is going through a tough break up or is dealing with the emotional ups and downs from having a miscarriage… and is unable to move forward with her life… if you have experienced one of these situations… hecks… maybe even both… than you would be a great resource for her to lean on for her to pick up the pieces of her life or deal with her emotional state… so she can begin the healing process. 

So... what I am trying to say is that... you can be the voice and the inspiration she needs to realize that she can get through and go on with living… Just Saying!

The telling of your truths… gives your unique perspective to a situation. Your truths can allow another woman to explore other ways of doing something… thinking about something… or even feeling a certain way about a situation… this can assist with their healing process.

Telling Your Truths Will Allow You to Self-Reflect

Telling your truths will allow you to self-reflect… it can give you a sense of inner peace as well as reaffirm your values. If you reflect on one of those hard situations… think about the emotional roller coaster you were on… the turmoil within… and now… think about how you handled yourself or the situation… in a positive manner... I bet you are really feeling good about yourself… but hold on…

Now… think back… oh… let’s say… 5, 10 or 15 years ago… how would you have handled that same situation… not so pretty… uh… you probably would have handled it like one of these young women or celebrities we see on FB live or Instagram live… acting all “GHETTO” and aggressive like... However… 

The woman that you are today… handled your situation like a woman… a mature grown up… You controlled your emotions and you analyzed the situation for what it was worth… and kept it positively moving.

Well… with self-reflection about your truths… this allows you to self-reflect… it gives you the opportunity to compare your past or present behaviors… the then and now YOU. Even if you didn’t take the high road… we all have times when we are off our games… this allows you to self-correct those bad behaviors… it allows you to be happy about the positive changes you have made… or still making… in your own life. 

This allows you to have the life experiences… the stories… the wisdom to pass on to other women who are going through similar situations.

Telling Your Truths is Empowering

Telling your truths will allow you to be empowered and give a voice to something that you… and I am sure many other women… have experienced. 

Through your words… your unique voice and perspective… the telling of your truths... has power in it.

Telling your truths is an extraordinary path toward self-appreciation and self-love… it confirms that you have a voice with unique experiences to share with other women… regardless of your past… you have owned it… moved on… accepted that this was once a part of you and you are worthy of being listen to!

By letting go and sharing something that maybe dark, ugly, embarrassing or difficult experience of your past… you are baring this vulnerable part of you… in an effort for it to be something helpful, encouraging and meaningful to another woman… and within that… it’s empowering!

See… you are the expert in your life… of your experiences… of how you felt going through those emotional situations… and how you were triumph… Your expertise allows you to be a wealth of relational information for other women… a wise, beneficial and much needed resource… so why not share that?!?
In my opinion… it shows that… YES… I have made my share of mistakes and I’m not proud of them… but I have accepted them… made the necessary changes and above all… I still love me… I just made a mistake. Yet in still… I have learned from them… and I am here passing on what I have learned so their journey will be a more positive, healthier and peaceful one… Just Saying!

ejnosillA’s Final Thoughts

In closing… I am oftentimes asked… because of the single mother raising five children along… thIngy… if given the opportunity… would I change my life… and when I was younger… the answer would have been a strong… HELL YEAH!

However, as I have matured and taken the time out to reflect on the good and bad lessons that needed to be learned… the answer would be… HELL YEAH!!! No just messing with you… but my answer would be NO! 

We all would like to think that if we changed the bad things in our lives… that our lives would be much better… but what happens if it turns out to be much worse?!? How would that change me as a person… a mother… a Black woman?

No… I am good with that one… you know how many hard lessons I had to learn… and I don’t want to go through that ever again… hecks… when I think about going through the pains of childbirth… no I don’t… EVER… EVER… EVER AGAIN… 

I mean… EVER… want to go through that… EVER AGAIN… and then the potty training… the teenage years… 3 down and 2 to go… hecks… I’m trying to downsize… not go backwards or worse… nope… I’m good… Just Saying!

I love who I am… the lessons that I have learned and the woman I am becoming… so NO… I don’t want to change that aspect of who I am because my unique truths or life experiences have and will continue to inspire other women.

I can reflect on my experiences and help and inspire… or even empower other women. Now… I don’t profess to have all the answers… but I do know that I can use my life lessons as a bridge to connect… or bond with other women. 

I can use my truths as a tool so these women won’t have to go through what I have already been through… I like to think of it as paying your hard lessons forward… just like the wise matriarchs in my Sista Circles did for me… and are continuing to do!

Telling my truths allows me the opportunity to reflect on my life… inspire and empower other women… whether the experience was positive or negative… it is a part of me… my voice… it’s a part of the journey of being who I am now… and the woman I am continuously evolving and growing into… Just Saying! As usual…

Stay Blessed Queens!

May ALLAH continue to guide me so my TRUTHS can be an inspiration to other women.

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  1. Thanks for the inspiring post! I love your advice to speak your truth for it is empowering. I see this a lot in my six-year-old daughter who is not afraid to speak her mind, it's amazing how we can be reminded about courage when we see it in our kids.

    Mae }

  2. The bad things are also what makes us who we are. I don't think I'd give up any of my experiences.

  3. I really enjoyed reading this and I love your attitude. Life is about learning and making mistakes and we shouldn't be embarrassed by the choices we made.

  4. Great motivation! I'm not ashamed of my truths or anything in my past. It all made me who I am today!

  5. Loved it, its really great to be a woman & no shame should surround us. Acknowledging & feeling great !

  6. What a great post about being real to yourself and others. I love telling my story because my truth helps others who have been through as much as I have.

  7. The truth shall set you free is what they say. And yes, it is true! Who needs to be carrying around all that luggage. Just be real and love yourself!

  8. Making mistakes makes us who we are. I think being honest with ourselves is key!

  9. This is a great post and would be very helpful to young and older women alike. Thanks for sharing.

  10. Telling the truth really is so empowering. I love this.

  11. I definitely think that learning to accept ourselves the way we are is important. My husband has an autoimmune and sometimes he still lets it hold him back or define him or make him depressed. I keep telling him he has to accept it's a part of him.

  12. Such a great post! we ought to appreciate ourselves tons :)

  13. I love this post. It really inspires me to share more of me to help others in the same situation. What I am now is because I struggled, I failed, I got up and kept moving. It is in the moving forward that molds us and propels us to success.

  14. In my opinion we just have to accept who we are and embrace it thanks for the reminder =)

  15. Great inspirational post and quotes. Women should definitely be honest and help uplift each other.

  16. I love the old saying truth is better than a non truth because while one can always be caught not telling the truth the truth is out there . I live my life like an open book
    come see us at

  17. Very true! everything that we go through is all a learning experience for us

  18. I have always taught my children that telling the truth will set them free. We all have our own story whether we share it or not
    come see us at


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