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Sunday, June 4, 2017

Don’t Even Think About It… This Isn't Your Friendly Neighborhood Teenage Summer Camp… So Keep It Moving Sista and Take Those Kids With You!!

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Don’t Even Think About It… 
This Isn't Your Friendly Neighborhood Teenage Summer Camp… So Keep It Moving Sista and Take Those Kids With You!!

Well, Ladies... I'm back from my sister's wedding in Florida and in full effect... I will blog about my little adventure in the near future! However, as I sit reading and commenting on some of my fellow bloggers’ websites… 

I can’t tell you how many baby blogs I have read that talked about various types of pregnancies… bringing baby home… Postpartum…  breastfeeding… the best breast pumps… best baby products such as bottles, formula and diapers… best baby clothes and where to find the best deals… how long to wait before you can be intimate after having your baby… 

Seriously, I've read so many baby blogs and all that baby talk leads me to believe that a lot of my fellow bloggers were doing a lot more than blogging this winter in their spare time…Um Uh…  Just Saying!

While I was visiting these websites, I noticed how many of them have written blog posts pertaining to their favorite recipes… or refreshing summer cocktails… best summer vacations and what not to forget to bring to the beach… how to protect and keep Spike protected from fleas and ticks… beauty and makeup tips… DIY ideas… how to get your little ones to love to read and on… and on… hecks… they have written about the dos and don’ts of this and the dos and don’ts of that… check list for this and a check list for that… or steps on how to avoid this and steps on how to avoid that…

However, I still haven’t seen anything that my fellow bloggers are posting that pertains to the dos and don’ts of avoiding becoming the summer neighborhood babysitter or offered a checklist of signs to look out for when your house is becoming the secret designated summer neighborhood daycare… or even… steps on how to avoid becoming the neighborhood babysitter!

See… I say this because as I am writing this post… I have noticed that the kids in my house seem to be multiplying. When I went to bed… there were the usually suspects in my house… my two sons and the twins… oh yeah… and the twins’ plus one… but as this day has progressed...

 I have noticed that the plus one has amazingly tuned into a plus 3 who seem to be plus oneing and I can hear more chatter coming from outside… and my “Mommy Senses” are telling me that something is afoot and I better handle this before it gets too out of hand!

See… my summers, holiday breaks and occasional school closing because of weather end up with me becoming the neighborhood babysitter. I don’t care if I am throwing an event or the twins are invited out… at the end of the night… I end up stuck with all of the kids while their parents are out having a dang good time!

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I don’t care what it is or what we are doing… it seems that they are the ones who are attracting other kids… either by accident or in my case… on purpose! When I would take my kids treat-or-treating… it would start off with my FAB Five and by the end of the night I would have 4 or 5 other kids stuffed in my "Mom-mobile!"

For example, just on Thursday… one of the community centers in my city usually throws a variety of Summer Kick-Off activities and one was a late-night summer skate at our local skating rink. Well… when the twins left… as usual… they left with a bunch of neighborhood kids that they have grown up with and have been in school with since elementary school… with one of their older brothers as their chaperone.

The skate off was from 10:00 pm - 2:00 am and all was almost well until I realized that one of the neighborhood kids was lurking around my house... but than I noticed it was two. I called the girls downstairs and asked why their friends was still here because it was late and they need to go home…


Now… brace yourself because here comes the foolery… one of my girls told me that they were locked out… now… I am thinking to myself… “OH… NO YOU DON’T… WE AREN’T STARTING THIS FOOLISHNESS AGAIN!” 

See… although me and their family are real cool… it seems that every time they go with the girls… she and her sister are mysteriously locked out and ends up spending the weekend with us… but mind you… they live right across the street and any other time… there are several people going in and out and wait a minute... what am I talking about... 

There is always somebody there… and the grandma lives two blocks over from us! BUT... now everybody has mysteriously disappeared… Really… that’s what they want me to believe... Really Now?!?

Well… they ended up spending the night and around 2:00 pm… I reminded the girls that I am sure the doors are unlocked by now and it was time for them to go home… See… I am not mean or anything and I really do love these girls… but some people don’t know how to go home. I mean these kids and the other ones in the neighborhood will ask to spend the night and I find myself babysitting for 2 or 3 days… or they will go home for an hour and come right back…

So, since my fellow bloggers are busy with baby-making or some type of fantastic dinner or cocktail recipe ideas... that I will be utilizing… I have taken it upon myself to research this issue… and I found a great 2013 article by Kim Grundy titled: How to Set Boundaries with the Neighbor Kids… and decided to see if the advice that she suggests would work in my household…  so, you… and more importantly I… can avoid becoming the neighborhood babysitter this summer! Lets begin

Mark Your door


Grundy’s first suggestion was to mark your front door. Now you are to buy two large scarves… one red scarf tie it to your front door and this will mean that your kids can’t come out and play or have company and the other one… a green scarf means that it was okay for the kids to have company.

Well… this does sound like a great idea and I remembered that I tried this before… but one day my scarves came up missing… I searched and searched around the house and I just couldn’t find my scarves… but one day when I got home from work… I found the neighborhood kids playing with them. 


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Those kids... with my children's permission and of course... and I am 99.99% sure with their assistance... tied those two scarves together and made a jump rope out of them! The two oldest of my FAB Five had the nerves to be out there twirling my scarves around and while the three little ones and the rest of the crew were waiting their turn to jump rope... and everyone looked to be having a dang good ole time jump roping with my red and green scarves that has mysteriously reappeared!

Only if you could have seen the look on my face when I pulled up and seen all of them having a good ole time with my scarves! I was so mad and outdone... do you hear me... OUTDONE... that I got out there and jump roped with them! Hecks… if you can’t beat ‘em… join ‘em! Let’s see… the next piece of advice is... oh... its a good one... Talk to your kids…

Talk to Your Kids


Grundy suggests that we are to talk to our kids because this is an important way to set boundaries. We are to let them know that we need our peace and quiet… so they need to keep the party with their posse outside.

Well… that sounds good too… but what happens when your kids think that they are the party… and with all of the neighborhood kids hanging out in and around my house on a daily basis… I must have to agree with them! 

I guess if my kids would listen after I have talked to them about this situation for the millionth time or so… I wouldn’t need to be writing this post… I would like to think that my kids are innocent and unwilling participant of the party… but my “Mommy Senses” are telling me that they are the host of the party… thus, they are a part of the problem and not the solution… and talking to them will raise my blood pressure to high... and it's just not worth the headache! Moving on…

Set the Rules that Kids are to Go Home First and Talk to the Other Parents


Grundy suggests that we talk to the other parents and maybe between the two can switch off… well I have found that they are also a part of the problem and not the solution… whether they know it or not. 

Well... let me think back... okay... I got a doozy of a story for you how this wouldn't work for me... check it out... a couple of months ago the twins were invited to a slumber party one Saturday… but on that Friday before… they came home with one of their friends.

Now, mind you… I told them that if they wanted to go to the slumber party that they needed to make sure their chores were done and more importantly… DON’T BRING ANYONE HOME from their after-school program because they were going to be busy doing their chores and I don’t like being ambushed...
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Meaning, their friends need to go home and check in first while allowing them to check in to see if I have something planned and me to see how their day has gone… Well… guess what… yep you know it… they brought one of their friends’ home.

I politely asked the girls to come into my room to talk to them privately because I know good and well that I told them NOT to bring anyone home! Now… the little girl is no stranger to me and I have oftentimes seen her at their school and visiting with her family that lives on our block… Also, she has spent the night… ONCE… with the twins for their 13th birthday slumber party… and if memory serves me correctly… she ended up spending the weekend then and was trying to stay a few more days!

Well… it turns out that the girl spoke with her mom and her mom told her to come home with the twins because she was going home to take a nap and would pick her up around 10:00 pm and it's 6:00 pm when I find this little tad bit of information out! Now… I was like… WHAT TYPE OF FOOLISHNESS IS THIS?!?

Firstly, how is someone going to tell their child to come to MY house and you haven’t even asked me if they are invited to come to MY house?!? Secondly, who said that I don’t want to come home from work and take a nap? Thirdly, doesn’t she have family that stay right across the street… seriously… right across the street… I can look out my bedroom window and see their duplex and it’s still… right across the street… and lastly… WHO DOES THAT?!?

So, I had the little girl call her mom… then her dad… but neither parent answered… hecks… they live in the same house and no one can hear their phones… Anyways… ten o’clock came and went… 10:30 came and went… Midnight… yep… came and went… hecks… I went to bed around 2:00am and when I woke up on Saturday… late morning… she was still there… Now the kicker is…


Her mom did show up… she came around 2:00pm and picked her daughter up… and never said one word to me… after I gave the twins a stern talking to about the situation… about an hour later… the little girl was back… YESSSSS… Girlfriend… was back… Do you know that women dropped her daughter off and had made arrangements for the little girl to get picked up so she could ride with the twins to the birthday party?!? Once again… WHO DOES THAT?!?

Well… it won’t be any further need to speak with her parents or for her to go home and check in because she hasn’t been back to my house since… I don't have time for that nonsense... Just Saying!

Encourage Kids to Stay Outside


Grundy’s next piece of advice is to encourage kids to stay outside when they visit our homes… well… I rather encourage kids to go further than going outside… I try to encourage the kids to stay at home! Once again… I am not trying to be mean… my house has been the kick it spot for over 24 years!

First it was the all-night spades and dominoes kicking it spot as well as the designated family and friend kids drop off spot when we would all go clubbing… then as the kids grew up… it became the teenage hang out spot and after 24 years of entertaining kids… I am just tired of looking at them and them being in my house... why can't anyone understand that I am downsizing... meaning... trying to get rid of kids... not looking to raise more kids!

I mean it would be different if these kids were seen and not heard... but these kids are in here singing all off key and making my dog nervous... asking me do they sound good... what nerve... setting me up to look like the bad mom when I tell them no and to stop all of that noise… hecks… poor Spike is about 150 million years old and on his last leg as it is… 

They're in here stomping around trying to do the latest dance or Zeta Phi Beta step while I’m bracing my stuff so it won’t fall off the walls or break my glass tables… I swear somebody is going to end up in that unfinished basement and I don’t know how I am going to explain that big ole hole in the floor to the landlord...

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Or them going in and out and letting in bugs… eating and drinking up everything while having the nerves to give me food requests… do you know how many times I have BBQ and came home and there wasn't anything left... not even a burnt hotdog... Seriously... they are always in here playing that GOD-awful loud music or yelling at those darn video games... and the most annoying thing of all… following behind me asking me a bunch of silly questions while I’m trying hide from my own kids so I can avoid talking to them!

No ma’am… I don’t think I will be doing this one… Nope… I won’t be encouraging these kids to stay outside… more like… encouraging them to stay right on inside at their homes… because if they're outside, they might wander off and with my luck,,, they will wander right on into my living room...  Just Saying!

Set a Time Limit


Grundy stated that a— San Diego-based family counselor Amy Chang suggests setting a time limit. “Try telling your child, ‘I love having your friends over since they are so much fun. However, I also need my quiet time. I would feel comfortable having them over two hours a day. What time would you think is good for your friends to come over?'" she suggests.

Okay… that is fine and dandy but… first of all… NO! I don’t love having their friends in the house because of the previous mentioned situations and who in the world wants a bunch of teenage girls in their house everyday… giggling… gossiping and talking loud!

Lastly, I have come to terms with the fact that my kids can’t tell time even though they all have cell phones with alarms. Hecks… they can’t even get in the house on time when they are in front of the house playing with their friends… let alone follow time limits when it comes to their friends being in the house... Just Saying!

Keep in Mind How Often Your Kids are at the Neighbor’s House


Grundy suggests that parents need to be honest about how much time your kids spend at the neighbor’s house. Well, that is so far and in-between that I would love for that to be a part of my personal equation and that’s part of my problem.

It seems like when these school breaks come about… my house becomes the neighborhood hangout and I am the one left babysitting while the other parents are child free!

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When I do suggest my girls go spend some time at their friends’ homes… I still end up with all of the kids. Just last week… they went to an event with 5 of their friends and I had strongly encouraged my twins to go spend the night over one of their friends’ houses so I could have a moment of peace and quiet… well around midnight one of their friend’s mothers dropped them all off and they came in with two other girls. 

Well... it turns out that they told me that all of the mothers were feeling the same way and they said that they needed to find somewhere to go and they all ended up at my house... and it was confirmed by the other mother who dropped the girls out... and as I watched her drive away leaving her daughter... once again I found myself saying... WHAT TYPE OF FOOLISHNESS IS THIS... and... WHO DOES THAT… Just Saying?!?

ejnosillA’s Final Thoughts


In closing…seriously... I know that my home is a safe place and will always be a neighborhood favorite… but some of these kids and parents need to learn boundaries and not to take advantage of someone who truly loves the kids and wants them to have a safe environment to kick it in. 

However, … but they need to realize that their child coming over for an hour or two doesn't constitute an all weekend babysiter or your child staying over for 4 or 5 days because school is out. Seriously, if I add up all the babysitting money I would have accumulated in the last 10 - 15 years... I would have Oprah Winfrey money!  

So... to all the mothers who may think that you are exempt from this post because your little one is two young and you don't have to worry about that for a while... well... it's all fun and games now... but I am here to tell you... I am really talking to you because for the rest of us... especially me... it's too late... the only way I am going to get rid of these kids is to get them married off and than I am sure my house will be overrunned by little cute... screaming and breaking up my stuff... grandbabies! 

But you still have a chance... if you set boundaries in the beginning and be stern... Don't let those little cute googly eyes get you either... that's how they break you down... or the let's team up on mom and hit her with the triple threat... there is nothing more heart wrenching to see 3 sets of big brown sad puppy eyes looking at you ban begging... not asking... begging if one of them could just spend the night again... even though their visitor has been there so long that you are beginning to wonder if you can be charged with kidnapping because you haven't heard from the parents since you said yes 5 days ago! 

Now… I know that there are benefits to having my children’s friends at my house daily. I really don’t have to worry about where they are and who they are with. It does give me some peace of mind… but it comes with a lot of headaches and Aleve! I too want some time to myself to be child-free… some alone time to get my thoughts together… I like taking naps and sitting back binge watching my favorite shows in peace!

Well... I don't know about you... but I am going to try take a stand and take my house back after 24 long... nerve-wracking years... So... all I have left to say is... Don’t Even Think About It… This is not Your Friendly Neighborhood Teenage Summer Camp… So Keep It Moving Sista and Take Those Kids With You... Just Saying! It's great to back and I have missed you all... as usual…

Stay Blessed Queens!

May ALLAH bless all and all have a safe summer!


~ejnosillA

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Let’s work together... Just Saying!!!
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Article Source:
Grundy, K. (2013). How to set boundaries with neighbor kids coming over. Retrieved from: http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/1009759/how-to-set-boundaries-with-the-neighbor-kids.

Picture Source:
Keep Calm and No Kids Allowed - Retrieved from: https://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-no-kids-allowed.png



27 comments :

  1. Haha, this post is quite funny. I think because my kids are still quite young, I haven't run into this problem yet! My oldest is only 9, but I can bet before long I will soon be having issues with neighbor kids. Lol

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  2. Great advice. I don't mind having kids over for a little, but I agree.. it can give you a headache! I think it's nice if we all take turns having the kids over and not just rely on one house!

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  3. It sounds like you have a ton of experiences to share! My daughter isn't old enough yet to have friends over but one day I'll have to deal with some things, it sounds like :)

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  4. These are such great tips! I enjoyed reading it. I prefer my kid's friends to come over to play but we usually set a play date time with their parents.

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  5. Such a lovely read. Sometimes just me time without kids is so lovely.

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  6. Around here, kids would never just show up without their parents texting first. It's just improper etiquette these days.

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  7. We haven't run into this problem yet. My son is still young (5 years old) and when he has friends over, the kids parents are usually hanging around too.

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  8. I remember growing up my mom preferred friends at our house than me at other houses. no idea why! I loved being home though haha

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  9. Bahahaha. This is hilarious. My house was definitely this kind of house when we were younger. My mom is a social one so she didn't mind. I felt bad for my dad who wanted some peace and quiet when he came home!

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  10. It sounds like your home can get pretty busy at times. My childhood home was always packed with the neighborhood kids. I had a lot of siblings with a lot of friends!

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  11. lol what a funny post to start out. I have 4 kiddos - 9, 8, 2 and 2 months so we stay busy to say the least. We don't have many younger kids in our neighborhood. The one we do, we don't hangout with because she is not good influence at 10. Our kids do go to a fun summer park program with friends from school. they LOVE it!

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  12. I did allow my kids to have a friend of two for a sleep-over. Not to have fun, or do movie binge watching, but to study. Yes. A study group. That's it. I put my foot down early on and let my kids (and their friends) know that there are limits and rules to follow if they come for a visit or stay a few hours in my house. First and foremost rule - they should be at their best behavior.

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  13. LOL this was insightful! I always said I want my house to be the one where all my sons friends come to play but I can imagine what it'd be like if they were ALWAYS here haha. we'll see as time goes on he's only 2 so I don't have that problem yet.

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  14. Kids are all over my house this summer! Lol this is funny. When my kid is all grown up, though, that tune will change.

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  15. I can only imagine. People like to downgrade the summer that you worked so hard for. Setting boundaries is definitely necessary.

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  16. This is so funny but actually challenging situation hehe...

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  17. Im kind of the opposite. I know it can quickly turn into a problem if you don't address it up front but I would much rather all the kids be at my house rather than my child being some where else where I don't the parents or anything else that is going on. But I can see as my kids get older it could become a problem.

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  18. There were 7 of us so if we wanted to play, we had to play with each other. lol I do agree with setting boundaries. It's nice that kids find your house to be a "safe space", but there are times when it is TOO MUCH. My parents often did that because they didn't really know the other parents. Kids would be at my house all the time, but when my mom was ready, they were out.

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  19. My kids are too young for this to happen just yet but when my stepdaughter is here, cousins always come sleep over. It's exhausting and fun at the same time. I'm actually looking forward to my kids growing up and having friends over. My mom let my sisters and I have friends over and it was some of the best times.

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  20. I really enjoyed this post! I know how my mom felt all those years ago about me and my three siblings bringing all the neighborhood kids home now. My children try the same stuff. And I swear sometimes I want to close the blinds and lock the door so no one comes by lol. It was worse in our old neighborhood and since moving I've learned to discuss boundaries with my children a little better. They finally get it. Thank you so much for sharing!

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  21. I love this post because it you don't set limits or rule there will be a problem. I always tells my children that I must speak to the parents before I let them visit anyones house.

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  22. Good to know about all the guidelines that you have shared here. I will for sure follow these to make somethings positive.
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  23. All of the kids in my neighborhood attend a day camp. I started letting my kids attend one as well so they would have a fun summer away from mom.

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  24. I like the info and all the tips provided!

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  25. my daughter's friends are always welcome here anytime for any amount of time they want.

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  26. That is so interesting about marking the door! Great idea!

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    Ivelisse | CarnationDreams.com

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