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Tuesday, April 23, 2019

As-Salaam-Alaikum," "Peace Be Unto You"

Soulful "Sista" Sundays 

(Video Version was Uploaded to YouTube on...Sunday, April 21, 2019)

Self-Care is the New Black (PART II):
ejnosillA's 10 Essential Tips 

Greeting Queens… 


Self-care and happiness are two important aspects that are unique and personal to each and every one of us Queens. Although, our individual “Queenly me times” may look different to each one us but taking care of ourselves is essential in order for us to positively thrive and survive in this crazy world.

I have listed 10 essential steps that I am trying to master to take in my daily life in order for me to be the healthiest and happiest possible version of myself and I wanted to pass this along so you can do the same… Just Saying. Let’s begin…

Exercise. I am still struggling with making the time for this one, but I do try to exercise. I realize that a daily exercise regimen can boost our immune systems, gives us a burst of vitamin D, keeps us mobile and strong, improves sleep quality, reduces stress, and releases dopamine and serotonin into our bodies. 

Queens… Our bodies are sacred vessels… that should be treated as such. No matter how strong the walls of a building is… if the foundations has cracks, over time, it will eventually crumble. 




In essence, our sacred bodies can be categorized as the same. If we continue to treat our sacred vessels poorly… eventually… it will break down or even worse… give out… so please treat your Queenly bodies well… Just Saying!

Healthy Diet. Making a healthy diet a priority in your life is worth it in so many ways. 

A clean, healthy, well-rounded diet is proven to have countless health benefits such as increased energy levels and sleep quality, improved immune system function, increased bone strength, better brain functioning, lowered risk of cancer and cardiovascular disease, etc. 




Queens… Let’s try to be to be our bodies’ teammate instead of its enemy. When WE eat better, WE feel better while building a stronger foundation for OUR Queenly bodies!

Tap into Your Creative Spirit. Whether it’s through art, writing, blogging, vlogging, dance, photography, singing, etc. I have found that vlogging and blogging have hugely assisted me with tapping into my creative spirit. 

It allows me to express my true self without any limitations. Queens… Even if you think you’re not creative… Remember… WE ALL have a creative spirit that we just need to tap into. 




Self-expression through creativity gives each one of us a sense of purpose, increases mindfulness, boosts self-esteem while giving us a therapeutic outlet that allows us the power to express our inner selves without worrying about any judgments and/or limitations.

Reading. I like to escape from daily chaos for a moment and reading is one of the best options. 

Reading frequently develops your vocabulary, increases knowledge while improving conversational and writing skills, unlocks your imagination, increases blood flow and connectivity in the brain, and introduces you to new perspectives and problem-solving strategies. 




Commit to reading at least 10 to 15 pages daily out of your favorite book/magazine. So, Queens… allow yourself to escape your realities with a good book… reading can open up a whole new world for you… TRUST ME!

Practice Meditation for Mindfulness: Everyday even if it is for 10 minutes, I often practice slow and deep inhale/exhale breathing exercises along with meditation. 

This allows me to connect with my inner soul and rises mindfulness. Meditation allows me to recognize when I am stressed and/or anxious. It allows me to focus my energies on the here-and-now… my present… while allowing me to recognize those unpleasant feelings without judging them to harshly. 




My daily goal is to be completely in my present… the now. I acknowledge the lessons that I have learned from my past mistakes or misfortunes, but do not dwell on them. 

I make better decisions because of my past, decisions that my future self would be happy with, building excitement for my future. Try not to dwell on the negativity of your past, but dwell on the positive aspects of your future.

Detox from Social Media and Reconnect with the “Real” World. Living in a social media world obsessed with everything high-tech, take time to detox from social media and reconnect with those things and/or people that are important to you. 

Commit an hour or two to disconnect from any technology and reconnect with your reality. Take this time to practice reconnecting with the real world; Your Reality. 

Try spending times with the Queens in your “Sista Circles” on a regular basis… do something like a brunch day that you all attend once a week. You can go for a walk or simply stroll at a park and be in the moment. 


Nature has been proven to bring our senses alive and bring peace to our lives. It assists with the formation of new neural pathways, reduces stress and depression, improves psychological well-being and helps with our creative spirits. 

Try taking a nap throughout the day… Hecks… I love “Queenly” naptimes! It allows me to reenergize and allows my body to recharge. Another option that I love to do is volunteer or be part of a charity organization… this allows me to give back to my community as well as gives me an opportunity to meet a diverse group of people… it nourishes my soul. 

In essence, disconnecting from your social world and reconnecting to the REAL world is healthy for you and it allows you to cultivate and nurture your real-life relationships… Just Saying!

Journaling. I try writing a journal entry daily, but it depends on my schedule. I try to at least spend 15 minutes jotting down my thoughts, concerns and goals for that day. 

I started journaling because of the constant inner dialogue running through my mind about ideas, concerns, things I am grateful for, future goals, etc. It allows me to jot down my thoughts, organize my ideas and it has truly become very therapeutic for me. 

Also, it has enhanced my creative spirit and productivity, it allows me to stay in tuned with my spirituality, inner thoughts, things I excel at as well as the areas in my life that I need to improve. 




This allows me to document the things that I have experienced throughout my day that I can refer to in the future. 

It is a way for me to keep up with my past, my personal growth in my present and keeps me on track for my future endeavors. 

I highly recommend journaling… You will be surprised what you learn about yourself… the good with the bad… it allows YOU to really see YOU… Just Saying!

Silence Your Inner “Queenly” Critic with Self-Compassion. It is never easy to silence our inner “Queenly” critic… that voice in the back of our minds that constantly reminds us of our fears or short-comings. 

Sometimes this critic can be for us OR get the best of us... Especially when we are going through. 

Now... my inner positive "Queenly" voice is top tier in my "V.I.P Queenly Sista Circle..." HECKS... SHE IS #1!!! BUT that negative "Queenly" voice can work a nerve... especially during one of my "Menopausal Moments..." Just Saying!!!

However, it is not impossible to silence our inner “Queenly” critic. I started practicing more positive thinking and saying daily, positive affirmations throughout my day. 




When my inner critic begins to speak, I silence “her” with positive thoughts about my achievements and speaking positive affirmations to myself… speak to yourself as if you are speaking to one of the Queens in your “Sista Circles.” 

As Queens… we are tasked with making everyone feel better about themselves, but oftentimes we forget about ourselves. 

However, practicing self-compassion is key in our Queenly lives. It is essential that WE try to be as caring as WE are towards others. 

We must be more understanding, patient and recognize that WE are beautiful, resilient and more than capable Queens with a lot of inner strength… WE ARE WORTHY… Just Saying!

Learning to Say “NO!” Queens… although, I promote “Queenly” spa days, self-care does not always look like face masks and drinking green juice… Sometimes self-care can simply be about being able to say “NO!” 

At times, I have found myself spending time participating in activities that made me feel resentful and/or exhausted because I truly did not want to participate and/or be there. I felt overwhelmed and my menopausal attitude would kick in. 

In reality… it is hard to say NO and letting go of YOUR lifelong need to please others. It can be a painful experience to say NO… especially to the ones you love and hold dear… 




HOWEVER... 

Queens… LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING… once I started saying NO and truly meaning it… I AM HERE TO TELL YOU… I AM LIKE A TWO-YEAR-OLD CHILD… who constantly is saying “NO” and it FEELS SO GOOD AND SO LIBERATING… 

HECKS… I LOOK FORWARD TO PEOPLE TO ASK ME TO DO SOMETHING SO I CAN JUST SAY “NO!” (I am thinking about learning how to say NO in different languages too)… 

LISTEN UP QUEENS… honoring yourself enough to say NO is necessary in order to live a healthier life, finding inner peace and happiness. If you’re living your “Queenly” lives based on others… Queens… I suggest that you choose to focus your energies on what will make YOU happy and fulfilled in YOUR lives and not others… Just Saying!

Letting Go and Positively Moving Forward. I have spent a significant part of my life holding on to negative feelings… reflecting on my “Queenly” life… it really did not amount to anything… 
BUT… keeping me stuck in the past while ignoring my present and future. 

We as Queens need to let go of the negativity in our past and choose to forgive whoever we felt that wrongs us. In the grand scheme of things, holding on to the negativity of our past, only harms us, because 9 times out of 10… that person has moved on and are living their best lives while you are sitting there stuck holding on to the negativity. 




Queens… YOU must get in the habit of releasing those unhealthy attachments to negative and meaningless situations, ideals and possessions that does not bring YOU happiness and inner peace… 

YOU must make the conscious choice to leave the negativity in our past and try to positively move forward by concentrating on the good in YOUR lives, laughing often and focusing that energy on YOUR positive future endeavors… Just Saying! 

ejnosillA's Final Thoughts...

I know self-care is hard because see love hard... but sometimes that love needs to replenished and refocused on US... Queens... YOU... not anyone else... BUT... YOU... must consider how you feel in the situations that YOU are presented with in YOUR daily lives... 

If you are feeling any kind of way... negatively... and your positive... inner "Queenly" critic is speaking out... then please listen... that other one... ignore and dust off your shoulders while keeping it moving... 




We all deal with a lot of foolery in our lives... HOWEVER... WE ALL HAVE CHOICES... Please choose wisely... or YOUR mental, physical and emotional health may suffer... 

In closing... Is there anyone you can name... whose happiness, peace and well-being is more important than yours?!? Even if your children comes to mind... the FAB Five always comes to my mind when I ask myself this question... HOWEVER... like I have oftentimes told them throughout their lives... 

If Someone Cuts Off My Head... As the one who is the HEAD OF THIS HOUSEHOLD... Where Does that Leave You All... regardless of their various ages... Just Saying!!!

As usual...
Stay Blessed Queens!
May ALLAH Continue to Bless!

~ejnosillA

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